Quotable Quotes (eps 117-120)
117. "Patriot Games" by David Slack
SLATE: Whatever happens, Lieutenant, don't let the Epic 1 veer
off course. Time travel has too many variables.
BIG GUY: Handles like a dream -- and has that new time machine smell.
DWAYNE: Mechanic on duty!
DWAYNE: Gotta swap out that regulator before we land in King Arthur's Court.
RUSTY: Are we there yet?
SQUILLACHI: One unauthorized transport and one unauthorized
automaton: 2 counts of illegal technology. Where is your
work collar, Earthman?
DWAYNE: You had to go the only place fish can fly.
RUSTY: Lieutenant Dwayne, maybe we should go find Dr. Slate.
DWAYNE: According to the Squid City directory, this is the place.
HUNTER: Then we get separated from Big Guy when the ship ruptures, and when we get home, everybody talks like Prince Charles, and octopi rule the world.
RUSTY: Come on. Big as a house, steel-plated, blasters that pop out all over the place? You can't miss him!
ALT-SLATE: Iron Jack was the clockwork titan who defended against
the American revolt. He led British forces to victory at the Battle
of Lexington and Concord, and again at Fort Ticonderoga.
ALT-SLATE: A massive explosion occurred at Bunker Hill, which
ended the conflict in favor of the British -- and made a legend of
Iron Jack. The cause of the explosion remains a mystery to this day.
DWAYNE: History's broken. We need to fix it.
RUSTY: No squishy-fishies.
DWAYNE: Okay. We find the ship and assess which of the damaged
systems are mission-critical.
DWAYNE: Back on the bus, Rusty.
DWAYNE: Was he saying....?
DWAYNE: What do you know? Kid's a psychic.
BRITISH OFFICER: Your uniform is an outrage. Your waistbelt plate is crooked; your vest should not tuck under your breeches. If you wish to serve in His Majesty's forces, you had better learn to dress properly.
DWAYNE: Mr. Revere, I have to borrow your ride. Hyah!
DWAYNE: Don't suppose I get a phonecall.
RUSTY: But I'm not a Redcoat! Hel-looo, these are red pants?
RUSTY: I could have beat 'em, easy. But I didn't think Big Guy
would like me fighting Americans.
BIG GUY...er, IRON JACK: Get thee back, ye rebel rogues!
IRON JACK: Foolish deed, mutineers.
IRON JACK (to Rusty): Begone, boy. I've a battle to wage.
DWAYNE: You're bomb squad; I'll take care of Jolly Jack.
IRON JACK: Take that, ye tatterdemalions!
IRON JACK: What's this, then?
DWAYNE: Listen carefully. I know you're in there. This technology
is beyond your understanding. Without proper handling, the power core
will overload. The suit will destroy you.
IRON JACK: Now. Where is that rebel apostate?
DWAYNE: Noone tells a lieutenant of the US military how to dress.
BIG GUY: Stand down, son. I'm back in the saddle. God bless America!
SQUILLACHI: Our future must be preserved. Eliminate the Americans!
BIG GUY: They came prepared. Have to go mano a tentacle.
BIG GUY: Let freedom ring!
BIG GUY: Don't mind the seafood. Now, fight amongst yourselves.
MINUTEMAN: General Washington, sir, what are they?
RUSTY: Big Guy, where's Lieutenant Dwayne?
SLATE: Big Guy's three minutes overdue.
RUSTY (to Slate): You're not talking funny!
118. "Harddrive"by Eddie Guzelian
BIG GUY: We're on our way, General. ETA: 60 seconds.
HARDDRIVE: I am Harddrive. Bear witness to my first campaign.
THORTON: Much obliged.
SLATE: Most likely American-made. It's definitely not Ex Machina, but it's radically advanced. Five, maybe ten years ahead of anything we have...Weapons-wise, anyway.
RUSTY: I could've gotten to that big bug first...if I had
my own rocketship.
JENNY: Knock, knock!
SLATE: And in what capacity will you be joining us, Mr. Griffin?
SLATE: You two go back.
GRIFFIN: So there's Lieutenant Hunter, hiding in the corner of the
Officer's Club, and he's still got the dress and wig on, right? When
out of nowhere, our CO --
RUSTY: It's no darn fair. I never get to drive!
BIG GUY: Attention mutant shoppers! I'm having a Red-White-and-Bluelight Special on bug repellant! [fires] In fact, I'm giving it away!
BIG GUY: A pair of piping hot sidewinders should make all sales final.
RUSTY: It's that Hardhead bot! Cool!
HARDDRIVE: So ends the second campaign.
RUSTY: Does it have gadgets and gizmos and weapons and a CD player?
SLATE: The bad news is, the beetles destroyed thus far have been scouts.
BIG GUY: Too many eggs are bad for the cholesterol count.
BIG GUY: I'm off to crown a queen.
GRIFFIN: C'mon. Let the kid have some fun.
GRIFFIN: Now I've got to get a move on, before Old Man Donovan sics his monkey on me.
RUSTY: Okey-doke. Where are the afterburners....
BIG GUY: I feel another campaign coming on.
BIG GUY (to Harddrive): Always in my line of fire.
HARDDRIVE: Bear witness to campaign #3: your destruction.
RUSTY: Woo hoo! Legend Jr. to Legend-1. Looky what I got!
RUSTY: Approaching target. Approaching it awful darned fast!
BIG GUY: What part of "I don't have time for this" don't you understand?
HARDDRIVE: You need not worry. I will protect the citizens.
RUSTY: Turn over, you crummy little hunk of junk!
BIG GUY: So why the grudge? Who programmed you?
HARDDRIVE: So ends the final campaign.
BIG GUY: Hail to the queen.
BIG GUY: That's right. Plenty of lovin' for everyone.
BIG GUY: We'll have to candygram the whole mountain.
SLATE: Lieutenant, I've got scoop.
HARDDRIVE: Humans possess one ability robots never will -- the willingness to fight dirty when the situation dictates.
HARDDRIVE: A robot might fall for that.
RUSTY: Harddrive wasn't really a robot, right?
RUSTY: So, since my rocket blew up, you'll build me that invisible
submarine I always wanted, right?
GRIFFIN: They say with good behavior I'll be out in ten -- but when have I ever behaved?
GRIFFIN: I expected you to quit the BGY Project when I did.
GRIFFIN: The Big Guy saved my life, even when I was trying to
destroy him. No human would have done that.
DONOVAN: Behold, Jenny. Quark's mass market breakthrough.
DONOVAN: It's alive! Alive and...walking.
JENNY: Guess the bot's out of the bag.
DONOVAN: Well, opinion polls suggest that Joe Consumer loves
Rusty the Boy Robot.
DONOVAN: No fear with Rusty Lite, sugarpop. He may walk and talk
like the original --
JENNY: Think we should advertise the size of his impact crater?
COMMERCIAL: Quark Industries, the people who brought you Rusty
the Boy Robot, now introduce the latest in domestic technology -- Home
Version Rusty! Switch him on, and he's rarin' to do the dishes, bring in
the groceries, and make learning fun.
RUSTY: Big Guy, can't you recognize me? The nose!
BIG GUY: Just between us professionals -- we do monsters, not home repairs.
BIG GUY: What seems to be the trouble here, little bot?
BIG GUY: That's why they call them knockoffs.
RUSTY: Big Guy, that doesn't sound like me.
BIG GUY: It's factory recall time!
RUSTY: Guys, listen up! It's me! Rusty Senior!
BIG GUY: Son, nothing personal. [starts destroying HVRs]
BIG GUY: Wily little kamikazes.
RUSTY: All right, you bad boys! Eat green...stuff!
RUSTY: The Big Guy signal!
DWAYNE: Problem, Doc?
HVR: Getting in our way is no darned good.
DONOVAN: Jenny, this is terrible. What if their owners demand
NUMBER ONE: We have the technology.
NUMBER TWO: Who would have imagined evil could have a face so...cute?
BIG GUY: Your buddies have a spiffy new clubhouse -- complete with hostages, no doubt.
BIG GUY: Tag. You're it.
BIG GUY: We can find the link, or I can coldcock 5000 Rusty wannabes.
BIG GUY: That means someone will have to go undercover.
BIG GUY: Just be yourself, son.
HVR: Gotta be a reject, though. His nose is all wrong.
BIG GUY: I'm goin' in.
BIG GUY: Candygram for the Lollipop Guild!
BIG GUY: I don't think they're breaking for naptime.
NUMBER THREE: Soon New Tronic City will be vacant real estate --
BIG GUY: Sweet flying hotlinks!
BIG GUY: Kid reminds me of me.
BIG GUY: Quarterback drops back to pass! 250 yards. 275. 300!
RUSTY: Dr. Slate, you think Joe Consumer hates me now,
'cause of what all those bad Rustys did?
PO: Bring forth this planet's mightiest champion, so that Po the Obliterator might beat him down in humiliating defeat.
PO: Please tell Po that these contraptions are not your heartiest
combatants. (laughs) Surely this world has some warrior who is worthy
of Po the Obliterator's attention.
PO: Very well. Po the Obliterator shall do battle with 'Big Guy
the Really Tough Fighting Guy'. If Po loses, he shall leave in peace.
But if Po wins, he shall add this Big Guy to his trophy case.
BIG GUY: Listen up, Po. I'll fight to keep this country free. I'll fight so it's safe for decent people to walk their dogs after dark. I'll even fight to eliminate the designated hitter rule from baseball. But I won't fight to provide cheap thrills for some sick freak.
PO: Po will make this very clear. Big Guy will fight Po -- or Po will destroy Earth.
PO: See the pretty mountain? Oops....
RUSTY: Big Guy, he's a jerk!
MACK: Diagnostic gear's ready, skipper. Whaddaya want checked out?
[Jo and Garth are asleep on the floor; Garth's snoring. Mack's
checking a clipboard. Dwayne is rubbing his eyes. Mack puts hand
on Dwayne's shoulder.]
[The name of the abandoned company is "HARD Steel".]
PO: Po can't believe you fell for that. Po is embarrassed for you.
[Big Guy's stray shot breaks a water tank.]
MACK: Big Guy's gone night-night.
PO: Po could continue, but he would hate to further damage his shiny new trophy.
PO: Po would stay and celebrate, but the locals never share his joy.
MITCH GIVENS, NTN: This is a very dark day -- the day the Big Guy went down for the count. True to his word, the intergalactic warrior Po the Obliterator departed with his 'trophy' just moments ago. Earth can heave a collective sigh of relief, but for how long? Who will defend our planet from the next threat?
GENERAL THORTON: We should consider this a victory, Lieutenant
Hunter. We salvaged the only part of the Big Guy that is
irreplaceable -- you.
DWAYNE: Took me years to break it in.
RUSTY: The rescue mission you guys are planning? I'm gonna help.
RUSTY: No! Big Guy may be a robot, but he's not just a collection of parts. He -- he's the greatest!
RUSTY: He'd risk his neck for any of you! Mmph!
SLATE: Rusty, you're putting the Earth at risk. Come back. Rusty!