My Lovely MST
by Mary Christmas (unicorn_76010 at lycos.com)
Yes...I think that will be the title...for now...About
this next fic...be afraid. Be very afraid....
They were ever so slowly going insane. Not from having to
read the terrible fanfic, but from the sheer boredom of waiting for
the next one to be brought.
Lestrade was skipping around the room singing "The Song That
Never Ends", while Wiggins and Deidre had a bet going on how long
she could keep it up. Watson and Fenwick were arguing over whose
'friend' was the more intelligent. Holmes and Moriarty were talking
to each other in Pig Latin. Tennyson was the only one who didn't
seem to be affected.
MV: Well, now. I'm back with...what are you doing, Lestrade?
Stop! Stop it now!
This is the song that doesn't end!
Yes, it goes on and on, my friend...
Some people started singing it, not knowing what it was,
and they'll continue singing it forever just because...mmmph!
(unable to continue because a gag appears in her mouth. Her hands
have been tied behind her back)
MV: Gonna stop?
LESTRADE: (nods emphatically. The bonds and gag disappear)
MV: Okay. Here is your next fic. Hope you enjoy.
HOLMES: I-ay oubt-day hat-tay e-way ill-way.
MV: Do you ant-way e-may oo-tay oo-day at-whay I id-day oo-tay
estrade-lay? No? Good.
>>The Case of the Bad Hair Day<<
LESTRADE: Why do I get a bad feeling about this?
HOLMES: Perhaps because nothing good ever comes from these fics?
>>Not going to tell you my name, because, frankly I am ashamed
of this fic.<<
MORIARTY: Well, it seems clear that we can expect great things
from this fic. Ominous things, but great nonetheless.
MV: Hey! You got that from Harry Potter
FENWICK: What are you still doing here?
MV: I want to see your reactions to this one. I wrote it myself.
>>It was a normal day in the city of New London. People
walked around, or floated or..well, you get the idea.<<
LESTRADE: Floating people? Oh, yes, that's certainly an ordinary
sight. Why just the other day I saw Greyson float out his window on
his way to work.
WATSON: You did? My goodness!
MV: She was being facetious, metal-head
>>It was also a normal day for Professor James Moriarty and
his..er..personal slave?...Martin Fenwick.<<
FENWICK: Personal slave!? How dare you! J'en ai ras le bol avec
tu et cette. I am getting out of here!
(A/N: Sorry if I got the grammar or spelling on some of this wrong;
it's been two years since I took French.)
MV: (calmly) How?
Fenwick: (glowers, but doesn't say anything else)
>>They were trying to find a way to keep a certain annoying
yardie out of their hair.<<
LESTRADE: Gee, I wonder who that could be?
>>Only, the plan backfired when Fenwick accidentally spilled
his 'concoction' on Moriarty.<<
HOLMES: Need I even point out the gaping plot-hole there?
MV: No. I think everyone can see that for themselves.
>>The 'concoction' was a genetic formula that Fenwick didn't
know how it worked, but he thought was a substance that would make
you fall in love with the last person you thought about.<<
>>He soon found out, when Moriarty began to...well...I'm too
embarrassed to say....<<
MORIARTY: (Rolls his eyes) Let me guess, think I'm either:
1) in love with Fenwick, or 2) in love with Lestrade.
HOLMES: I would have to concur.
LESTRADE: (shudders) Well, I hope it's not me.
>>Oh, very well...he turned into Lestrade.<<
(thinks about that and shudders even more) Never mind....
LESTRADE: That's just wrong on sooo many levels.
>>And fell in love with Holmes...<<
HOLMES and MORIARTY: (immediately move as far apart as they can
>>And...Holmes not being able to tell the difference...
married "lestrade" and they lived happily ever after.<<
LESTRADE: O.o Ooookaaaaay. Well, I wish you two good luck.
HOLMES: Lestrade! For one thing, I would be able to tell the
difference between you and an impostor, no matter how identical.
For another, I would never ask you to marry me immediately.
LESTRADE: ......Well! now that that's over with....
MV: It's not finished!
>>The real Lestrade was rather unhappy, until she saw that
Holmes had not married the fake Lestrade. Only, it wasn't really
Holmes. The real Holmes had married the fake Lestrade, and now the
fake Holmes was going to marry the real Lestrade.<<
WIGGINS: Does anybody else have a headache after reading that?
>>Then, they met each other, and confessions were made.
Holmes was horrified to find out that his Lestrade was really
Moriarty. And Lestrade was doubly horrified to find out that her
Holmes was really Fenwick.<<
LESTRADE: (looks sick)
HOLMES: Why would she be doubly horrified? My Lestrade
used to be a man, for heaven's sake!
ALL: (give him odd looks)
>>So, they switched, and now they all lived happily ever
buh bye. go away. see ya. la la. dum dum. hehe. okay.<<
MV: (beams even though no one can see it)
LESTRADE: I'm scarred for life. I can't believe you wrote that!
DEIDRE: You're scarred for life!? By the way, Wiggins, you
owe me fifteen credits. I told you the mysterious voice would stop
WIGGINS: What?! No way! I'm the one who said that!
MV: Well! That's my cue to leave. Bye.
On to Part 5!
Back to part 3
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