My Lovely MST

Part 1

by Mary Christmas (unicorn_76010 at

From my twisted mind comes yet another strange tortuous fic. This is a MST...Mystery Science Theater, that is. Only it's with bad fics...that I wrote myself...and the main characters from SH22 are forced to read them...muahahahahahahah so sit back, read, and go ahead and throw food or anything else at me. Oh yeah, when you read this, think of watching a movie where there's a narrator talking in past tense while the characters are performing in present tense....

Sherlock Holmes stood across from his nemesis. They were locked in a staring contest (they had already had the battle of wits which had come to a draw, so now they were trying the staring), and neither seemed ready to back down. Then all of a sudden they found themselves in a room that was completely purple. There were four purple couches, one on each wall. Holmes frowned and looked over at Moriarty, who was looking as confused as he felt.

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Welcome to my little room. Please sit down and be patient while I bring in my other guests.

(HOLMES looks around surreptitiously, but sees no places that could possibly be openings)

MV: Oh, you won't find any way out, my dear Holmes. I placed you here in another way. And Moriarty, do stop that.

MORIARTY (stops stalking up behind Holmes): Who are you, my dear?

MV: Muahahahahahahahahahaack cough cough cough...ahem.
Never you mind. Here are your friends.

As the mysterious voice spoke, Lestrade, the three Irregulars and Watson suddenly appeared on one of the couches. Tennyson was minus his hoverchair.

MV: Hehe... oops. My bad.

(TENNYSON disappears and reappears in his chair.)

MV: Now, the reason you are all here is to read bababum... badfics!!!!! You will be stuck here indefinitely. Oh yeah, they are all about you. Muahahahahahaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Ooooh, wait! I forgot someone.

(FENWICK suddenly appears beside DEIDRE who moves over.)

MORIARTY: Was that really necessary?

MV: Yes. Now enjoy your first fic.

(Writing suddenly appears in the middle of the room where everybody can see it.)

>>The bestes frinds evr, but fall in luv by IM kewl<<

WIGGINS: Wow, when she said bad, she really meant bad. That doesn't even make sense....

HOLMES: Not to mention the grammar and spelling mistakes

LESTRADE: (who has been beating on the walls, kicking, etc, finally realizes the futility of that and comes over to read also)
Okay, so what exactly is the point of this?

ALL (except LESTRADE): (shrug)

>>One day, sherlock homs was talking wid his bst frind Begh lestrid.<<

LESTRADE: Begh Lestrid? Now wait a minute. If they are going to write something about me, they should at least get my name right!

EVERYONE ELSE: (give her odd looks)


>>He began to talk to her som more. Then he relized he wuz in luv wiht her.<<

HOLMES: (raises an eyebrow) I think I know what the title means now.

MORIARTY: (smiles) Well, at least I'm not in this piece of idiocy.

>>However, he did not no that his worst inimy wuz in luv with listarde.<<

MORIARTY: Spoke too soon

LESTRADE (sarcastically) Okay, we know Homs is in love with lestride, so what does his worst enemy being in love with someone named listarde have to do with anything?

WIGGINS: I, uh...think it's another misspelling of your name, Inspector....

LESTRADE: (glares at Wiggins) No, really?


>>Then holms killed mority and they livd hapily ever after. The end<<

TENNYSON: (makes a few sounds on his keyboard)

DEIDRE: (giggles) Yeah, that does sound pretty silly. How could Mority and Holms live happily ever after if Holms killed Mority?

WATSON: A very good question! Though I think the author means Holmes and Lestrade lived happily ever after.

MV: Well, did you all enjoy the fic?

All: .............

MV: Muahahahah!!! Just wait until I get the next one. Tata for now.

All righty then...does anyone want me to continue? If so send me your "badfic" to unicorn_76010 at In the meantime I shall endeavor to come up with another one on my own.

On to Part 2!

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