SH22 Dating Game: Episode 2!

Part 2

by Mary Christmas (unicorn_76010 at


(After a veeery long commercial break)

Moriarty: (snoring loudly; wakes up with a start at the sound of applause)
Well, I must say it's about time.
(He looks around but the host is nowhere in sight)
Mary? Lestrade?

(no answer)

Mary: (runs in from backstage, panting)
Ah, man! I can't believe she ditched me again! After that last farce...grr.
(she glares over at Moriarty) What?

Moriarty: (raises an eyebrow but says nothing, amused)

Mary: (looks over at the cameras which are obviously running)
ARGH! Bob! (calms down slightly)
Oh, yeah...he turned into Seymour and..never mind...(composes herself)
Okay, folks, we're going to do this one a bit differently. It seems that our bachelorettes have come down with the flu and are missing...
(mutters) When I get my hands on her....
(louder) we're going to turn this into an interview with Moriarty!

Audience: (applauds)

Moriarty: (sarcastically) Oh, this should certainly be interesting.

Mary: (glowers) Quiet, you. Speak only when spoken to.

Moriarty: Get up on the wrong side of the bed, did you?

Mary: No, I've just got stupid allergies that won't go away. Now be quiet.

Moriarty: (shakes his head slightly, smirking)

Mary: Okay, now the first question I have is where did you grow up at?

Moriarty: France.

Mary: (looks intrigued) Really?

Moriarty: (long pause) No.

Mary: (groans) Will you please cooperate?

Moriarty: (mock-innocently) I only do what you tell me to do. Or aren't you in charge?

Mary: I...uh..yes! Now don't say another word!
(takes a deep breath)
Okay, next question. What exactly is it about Holmes that you don't like? I mean, I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with your being a criminal and he trying to stop you, but why can't you be friends? I mean...why the hate?

Moriarty: ....

Mary: What, is it too difficult a question? How about this?
(grins mischievously, thinking she's finally retained the upper hand)
Why do you constantly put Lestrade down? Is it because you're really afraid of her? You have to belittle her abilities, because you're in denial?

Moriarty: ....

Mary: (grin gets bigger) No answer, huh...well, here's an easier question. Do you want me to let you go?

Moriarty: .....

Mary: Hey! Come on, now...say something!

Moriarty: I do wish you'd make up your mind. Do you or do you not want me to speak?

Mary: Huh?

Moriarty: (explains slowly) You told me not to say another word.

Mary: (slaps herself in the forehead) GRRRR!

Moriarty: (smirks again) I only do as you command.

Mary: (snaps) Then go jump off a bridge!

Moriarty: (shakes his head) Sorry, but suicide wasn't in the contract...And now, I do regret this, but I am going to have to take my leave. Do give my regards to Lestrade once you see her won't you.
(stands to leave, but stops when a growling dog appears in front of him)

Mary: (happily) Ghost!! You came!

Ghost: (wags his tail, and continues growling)

(There is a bright flash of light then, and a young man stands to the left of Moriarty, a grin on his face. He's younger than Mary, but has similar features)

Mystery Person: You know, this is supposed to be the dating game, soooo....

(Mary starts to protest but is cut off by another flash of light. When it clears, she finds herself sitting on the top bunk in a jail cell. Lestrade and Holmes look on from outside the cell.4)

Moriarty: (sitting on the bottom bunk) I'm guessing that was your brother?

Mary: (pouting) Yes. Stupid Billy.

Billy: (taking money from Lestrade) Yep. And you guys have a date with jail. Ha, ha!!!!

Mary: (rolls her eyes) You don't even laugh right....

Lestrade: Finally! I've got both of you, the banes of my existence.

Mary: Hey! I'm a real person and you're just a fictional character! How could I be a bane of your existence?

Lestrade: (ignoring Mary) Let's go, Holmes.

Holmes: (looking puzzled) However did you manage it, Lestrade?

Lestrade: (grins wickedly) Elementary, my dear Holmes....

Okay the END!!!

I think I need a hobby...(thinks for a moment) Oh wait...this is a hobby...maybe a new one, then.

Billy is used with permission, since he said he wanted to be in one of my stories....


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