SH22 Dating Game: Episode 2!

Part 1

by Mary Christmas (unicorn_76010 at

I needed a break from "Innocence" and after re-reading "The Dating Game", I realized I had promised a new one...with Moriarty. *evil grin* So...sit back and enjoy the insanity.... Oh yeah...there isn't an announcer on this one because's a loooooooooong story....

MARY: Hello, everybody and welcome to the next installment of The Dating Game ! SH22 style. I'm the host and the announcer because the Bob the Announcer Type Guy Association has cut me off...they say I'm too hard on their people.... Anyway! Today's guest is Professor James Moriarty, the world's most vile, reprehensible, evil, horrid, disgusting,'s a criminal mastermind....

MORIARTY: (appearing on stage in a chair in front of Mary) What? Oh, it's you again. Another game of Truth or Dare? Or perhaps reading bad fics?

MARY: Noooo...hey, wait, how come Holmes and Lestrade didn't recognize me when...oh, never mind...This is The Dating Game! SH22 style. You have to choose from three bachelorettes, and go on a date with them after the show is over....
(aside) and if they happen to all be the same person and arrest you, that's not my problem...a date downtown...heheh.
(aloud) Soo, any questions?

MORIARTY: Just one. Do you have a boyfriend or significant other?

MARY: (cheerfully) Nope! It's more fun messing with other people's lovelives.

MORIARTY: As I thought...well, seeing as I'm stuck here for the moment, we may as well get on with it....

MARY: Okay! Bachelorette number one is a good person who likes to read old stuff.
(screen moves to show Lestrade sitting behind a curtain in one of three chairs, looking very confused until she hears Mary's voice. Then she groans and puts her head in her hands)
Bachelorette number two likes to blow stuff up!
(screen moves to show a holographic projection of Lestrade which we shall call L2 from now on...)
And Bachelorette number three is a person!!
(yet another holographic projection, L3)
Okay, Jamesie-poo...ask your questions!

MORIARTY: What questions?

MARY: The questions off those little blue cards....
(in a lower voice) Jeez, what is so hard about this....

MORIARTY: Oh, I should have known. I thought it would be actual questions used for me to get to know the girls better. Very well then. Bachelorette number one, why is the sky blue, and if so does peanut butter and jelly taste good?

LESTRADE: (recognizing Moriarty's voice, lowers her voice) Oh zed! Mary...I don't care if you're all powerful in this one instant...crypnotizer for you....
(louder) Um...yes?

MORIARTY: (drily) Brilliant. Bachelorette number two, what does the angle of trajectory have to do with this fic?

L2: (taking on the exact same manner and tone as Lestrade) Um...yes?

MORIARTY: (looking suspicious) Hmm...Bachelorette number three, same question.

L3: (in a broken robotic voice)

MORIARTY: I see...

MARY: Okay. Commercial break!

On to part 2!

Back to the fanfic index