An Annoying Fan Writer in New London

Part 27

by Sigerson

Hum... I couldn't find the last post of this, proof that I'm either going blind, or it's been all kinds of forever since this Round Robin's been updated. Hence the invented number. So I've written a bit. Let me know if I've got the dialogue right, Joy*Starr.

"You know, I’ve never actually met a person who can pronounce asterisks."

"It’s a gift, really." Joy*Starr, a.k.a. Allie, noted mildly, nibbling on a biscuit.

Sigerson realized that she was probably engaged in the strangest conversations she’d ever heard, and that included the one about Coke vs. Pepsi with her French teacher. She was sitting Indian- style in a room that locked from the outside, sharing tea and crumpets with an evil cartoon genius, his mutated henchman, and a girl from an Internet message board.

"Thanks for the tea, Professor," she said absently. Random acts of manners were pounded into her skull. "Might I see today’s paper?"

Moriarty swallowed half a crumpet and silently passed her an electronic padd with the news.

"Thank you. Evil geniuses are great, aren’t they? Polite, smart, gentlemanly criminals. They just don’t make them like you anymore." She finished by patting Moriarty’s shoulder, but quickly retrieved her hand when she saw the poisonous look on his face. Embarrassed, Siggy bit down on her lip and half turned to Allie, placing the device on the table between them.

"Famed Sherlock Holmes Called to Investigate Sudden Appearance of Mysterious Girls." Allie read aloud. Siggy blinked, surprised to learn it was actually possible to pronounce capital letters. Moriarty snorted loudly into his tea, and Fenwick muttered something laden with unintelligible French curses.

"So we’re not isolated anomalies. That’s good, isn’t it?" Sigerson asked, looking to her fellow authoress for an answer.

"Yes, yes, it is."

"How, might I ask, is this good?" Moriarty interjected.

"Um... our friends, people we know, are here to share the trials and tribulations of getting the hell out of here with us?"

"When have I stated that you are leaving?" The criminal mind on legs looked decidedly smug. Siggy and Allie shared a look, then turned back to Moriarty.

"Um," said Sigerson, "May I call you James?"

"Not if you want more tea. Ever."

"What possible need for us do you have?" Allie thankfully broke in before Sigerson could earn herself the butt of an ionizer to the head. Fenwick’s fingers were twitching around his holster.

"Are you suggesting that I dispose of you?" Moriarty’s eyes flickered maliciously, and one corner of his mouth turned up. Siggy’s mind went into overdrive, searching madly for an excuse that would keep Professor Jim at bay. She was pleased to find her voice was level as she spoke.

"No, not really. But do you really want to be feeding two growing girls for any length of time?"

"Not particularly. But you two know where my private sanctuary is. I am assuming the first thing you would set yourselves to, were I to let you go, would be locating your friends. Your friends are with Holmes and the Yardie."

"Ah." The strangled reply came from both girls simultaneously. Allie’s eyes suddenly flashed, and she forced herself to keep a straight face.

"Wait... ‘The Yardie?’ I’m sensing an Adler complex." Sigerson’s eyes widened, and she bit her lip so hard that it began to bleed. Fenwick was doing the same, surprisingly enough. Moriarty looked at each of them in silent consideration for a moment, then began to laugh.

On to Part 28!

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