Cat Got Your Tongue?

Part 3

by Angel (aisumitsukai at
Oh, my! thought Watson. "What exactly did Moriarty think he was doing?" He said this part out loud, but no one answered him. He looked at Holmes and Lestrade.
They didn't move.
He shook Holmes by the shoulder and was surprised to feel that he had gone completely stiff.
"Oh, my!" Watson said, tapping Lestrade on the shoulder."Whathas Moriarty done to them?!"
"My dear robot, I've simply paralyzed them. I have been waiting to try out my new poison for quite some time now, and they really where the perfect candidates. Run along home to New Scotland Yard now, see if you can wake them up. Oh but wait, you can't! There's no known antidote! Mwa ha ha!"
"Moriarty, how da-"
"Oh, please don't start with all that. It's so utterly tiring." Moriarty chuckled to himself as he stepped out of the shadows.
Watson glared at him, but there was nothing he could do. Resignedly he lifted up the two inert detectives. Suddenly he heard a snap and turned around to see that Moriaty had unlocked Fenwick and was dragging him off.
Angrily, Watson shot an ioniser beam at him but missed entirely due to having his arms full.

***********At Midgard Hospital************

"What in the name of zed is wrong with them?!"Chief Inspector Grayson yelled at no one in particular. He already knew that Lestrade and Holmes had been poisoned, but yelling made him feel better. "Isn't there anything you can do!?" he asked Dr. Cushing for the millionth time.
"No, there's nothing I can do, but as I've already told you I've called a friend of mine who specializes in this sort of thing over to help. And here he is now. Chief Inspector, may I introduce you to Dr. S. Manuel."
Grayson twitched his head forward and Dr. Manuel smiled jovially.
"And these would be the victims?" Dr. Manuel asked as he crossed the room to the two cots where Holmes and Lestrade lay.
Dr. Cushing nodded.
A few hours and a whole lot of muttering from Dr. Manuel, later Grayson was beginning to get really annoyed.
"Can you help them or not!?"
Dr. Manuel straightened up and looked at Grayson haughtily. "Well -- actually I think I will have to explain a few things to you first before I can, uh, help them. First off, they have been poisoned by a poison my scanner has never seen before. Secondly, according to Moriarty there is no cure -- ah, ah, don't interrupt. Now, this poison has completely paralyzed their bodies. Meaning that they are incapable of breathing properly, eating, digesting, going to the bathroom, etc., etc. In order to save them from starvation, dehydration, etc., etc., we would have to move their brainwaves to different bodies. Dead bodies. Because we could not just take another human and put someone else's brainwaves into them; that would be inhuman. You are very lucky, I have recently developed an instrument that is capable of moving human brainwaves into the brain of a dead animal. I have also brought with me two such animals."
From his large black bag he produced two boxes. Inside them were two cats floating in honey: a small grey tabby kitten, largely resembling a ball of fluff, and a full grown blond tabby cat.
Grayson wrinkled his nose. "So you are saying that the only way to save them is by putting their brainwaves in these cats?"
"Precisely, and don't worry, this has already been succsesfully tested. Also these arrangements would only be until we can find a cure."
Grayson decided Manuel was crazy, but if it was the only way.... "All right. Do this brainwave thingy on them." Suddenly he smiled. "Can Lestrade be transplanted into the kitten?"
"Of course."
"Good. Well, then, I'll leave you to it." He got up from his chair and walked out of the room.
Dr. Manuel turned to his colleague."We had best get started right away."
"May I stay?"
The two doctors jumped; they had completely forgotten about Watson.
"Of.. of course."
Watson smiled. It was going to be a long night.

***************Eleven o'clock the next morning******************

Grayson hurried into the hospital room where Lestrade and Holmes were being kept. "Did it wor-" He stopped in mid-sentence as he looked around the room. The doctors were asleep in chairs. In the corner stood an unrecognizable machine, Watson had gone into regeneration mode -- how did Watson get there? -- and two cats had been placed on a third cot. The yellow tabby was awake and looking at him intently.
"Do you know how irksome being a cat is?"
Grayson jumped at the sound of Holmes' voice, "Uhh, no, I don't. How irksome is it?"
The tabby sighed."Very. I am lucky, though, that you asked that Lestrade be the kitten, that would probably be unbearable. Of course she will most likely let us know just how horrible it is in a few minutes."
"How... how did you know about all that?"
Holmes the cat sighed again. "We were still able to hear despite being paralyzed, or at least I was."
Grayson grimaced. "Lestrade will have my head."
"Oh, most likely."
"Chief Inspector!"
Grayson turned around to see the doctors getting up out of their chairs.
"As you can see, the transplant was a success," Manuel said haughtily.
Grayson decided he didn't like Manuel very much. "Well, Lestrade still isn't up."
Watson chuckled from behind them as he got to his feet. "That's probably better for you, though."
Everyone smiled. Then looked down at the grey ball of fluff, which had just groaned.
"I am not going to open my eyes until someone tells me that I amnot a kitten," the kitten growled.
"You see...."
Holmes chuckled.
Lestrade openned her eyes. "Oh no," she moaned. Everyone looked huge! "How come Holmes got to be the cat!?"
"Well, since I knew you'd be angry about switching bodies, so I decided to have you put in the less dangerous body." Grayson's eyes twinkled.
"Ooooh, just you wait. I'll be just as dangerous as a kitten as I am a human. Just you wait."
"You said 'Just you wait' twice, Lestrade," Holmes commented.
What happened next was, to Lestrade's utter disgust, completely hilarious. She tilted her head back and attempted to glare at the now-much-taller-than-her Holmes. This resulted in her falling over backwards while doing what was usually known as squinting. Holmes was kind enough to remark later that being squinted at angrily by a small ball of fluff was funny enough already and that she needn't have bothered with the falling over part. (Lestrade managed to control her temper enough so as not to glare at him again, but merely sniffed haughtily. This was actually quite funny as well but let's not go there.)

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