Lyrics: Maureen S. O'Brien, 6/25-8/7/95
Music: "I Can Love You Like That", All For One
It's no threat -- it's a promise.
And I can promise this --
That if you move a muscle now,
I'll shoot -- and I don't miss.
And one spritz from this sprayer
Means guaranteed slow death --
A nerve-destroying virus
That can also cause bad breath.
So put your weapons down realll slowly,
Or make the poor Valkyries gag....
I can crush you like that.
I can conquer your world.
I can do the whole thing
Without a turned curl.
I'll move stars in the sky --
Blow 'em high, if I need --
So don't think I'll hesitate
At making you bleed.
Do you see this small gnat? CLAP!
I can crush you like that. You've heard about the heroes
So valiant and bold;
But villains that they vanquished, all
Were careless or too old.
The knights had magic broadswords
Or wizards for their friends --
And _that's_ why all the stories
That you read had happy ends.
But me, I like your tragic ending --
For which I won't be waiting long...
CH2: [repeat as before, until]
I'm obeyed by my cats ---
I can crush you, like that.
Creatures from beyond
I've caught or conned.
I ate Cthulhu crispy fried. (Fresh calamari!)
Went back through history
To make some fireworks next July.
(It's exotic, huh.)
(Some say psychotic, but hey!)
I'm patriotic like that!
Decorating your world --
Make the whole Milky Way
Just one big banner unfurled.
I'm an artist, you see --
Christo's nothing to me! --
And a million dead worlds ensure
That my speech is free.
'Cause I vote Democrat,
NEA funded that!
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