Subject: Re: The Filker's Bardic Ring Date: Thu, 15 Apr 1999 18:42:52 -0700 From: Maureen O'Brien Organization: Ceann Coradh Newsgroups: rec.music.filk SAITH THE LUDDITE: When I go surfing on the web, I really want to surf The waves of information, not wipe out on someone's scurf. They think the animation's cute? There's nothing that they add Besides three minutes' load time when the net congestion's bad! On Tue, 13 Apr 1999 13:46:24 "Filksinger" wrote: >> wrote in message >>news:npxQ2.594$H4.31564@eagle.america.net... >> >>> (sings) Calm down, it's only animation... >>Calm down, it's only .gifs and bytes. >Calm down, and speak to me in Hotmeal Don't think about the prancing things or little dancing lights! I hate pages with image maps that do not have text links. But I turn images back on, and then my patience shrinks. A huge, slowpokey banner ad deprives me of my speed, And then the background image makes a page you cannot read! QUOTH THE SHRINK: Calm down, it's only image mapping Calm down, no alt tag needs no fight. Calm down, you don't need information And tackiness is one of every page designer's rights. THE LUDDITE: And did I mention Java? Did I mention it's a cross? The two times that it worked, the program was a real dead loss. The others crashed my system after ten minutes of load; But now it's off, and pop-ups have become just lines of code! THE SHRINK: Calm down, it's only program language Calm down, it's not the devil's tool Calm down, the neighbors all can hear you And all this turning off must break some kind of Web-browse rule... THE LUDDITE: I turned off all my images, I turned off stupid fonts, And now my modem fin'lly runs as fast as I could want. It's not a pretty picture, it's not marketing correct, But the latest, greatest information-rich format is TEXT! Calm down. I'm just a lonely Luddite. Calm down. Nobody else agrees. Calm down. You go waste your own bandwidth. I'm reading lots of stories without money or dead trees.