Tue, 20 Oct 1998 22:10:54 -0700 Title: Tuesday Night in Purgatory Author: Maureen S. O'Brien E-mail: mobrien@dnaco.net Rating: PG (some language) Category: V Spoilers: "The Martin Baker Fan Club", "King of the Fleas", "The Stalker" and "Death Watch" Summary: You never know who you'll run into on Tuesday night in Purgatory. Disclaimer: We all know this is no legal protection, but I really do think fan fiction falls under Fair Use. JAG belongs to Donald P. Bellisario, Belisarius Productions, and Paramount. Author's Note: I thought a lot of "The Martin Baker Fan Club". But I wanted a few words with a certain character about the ending! --------------------------------------------------------------- "Well, well, well. So this is the afterlife. Can't say I think much of the decor. A little too gray and misty for me." Roscoe shrugged. "Hell, at least I'm walking again. And reasonably young. And not too bad-looking, if I do say so myself." "Not for long." Roscoe spun around. A beautiful black-haired woman was walking toward him. She did not look happy. But she did look vaguely familiar. He searched his memory, and came up with a serenade he'd done for Rabb's partner.... "Major? How'd you die that fast?" "Lieutenant," she snapped, her voice in a higher range. "Lieutenant Diane Schonke. Sarah Mackenzie's my twin." She was wearing an Academy ring. Great. There were ringknockers everywhere. "You just screwed up big time, but fortunately Somebody up there likes you. So here you are in Heaven. Consider me your welcome wagon." He looked at her suspiciously. "If this is Heaven, where's all the harps?" "You turned them down." Her expression softened. "Granted, you had a pretty powerful fear of imprisonment motivating you. But you still said no to a better deal than you ever got in Dong Ha." "Hey, you said that right the first time!" "I've been keeping an eye on my sister ever since I died and found out I had one. I got curious as to what Harm was up to and caught your little speech, too. You know, right before that stalker met and targeted her." "What?" "Oh, yes. I forgot you weren't in on that little mess. While Harm was busy defending you in your first murder trial _and_ keeping up on his caseload _and_ trying to find his father, he was also helping my sister survive being stalked by that Coster. And trying to deal with his own memories of how I'd been stalked and killed." She stared up at him. "This time he only had to continue dealing with his father's death and his own anger. And he even got about two minutes of quality time with Mac before you and your merry band came to the door and turned his tete a tete into a SWAT team party. So now he's got your death and a heavy load of guilt, when all he wanted was to act like your son. And Mac gets to try to talk him out of developing another obsession, which won't work. Of course. Thanks a lot, Roscoe." "Rabb'll be all right. He always wins." "Yeah, right. Everything but what's important to him." "Sounds like someone's got some anger to work out." "I was murdered by someone trying to save his personnel jacket. Right before I got to see Harm for the first time since we stopped just being friends, and we talked over our potential future together. Anger? Gee, ya think?" "Calm down, Lieutenant. Bad for the heart." "Not a problem anymore." She shook her head. "You know, I felt sorry for you, before. But now? I think you're not much concerned about anybody's heart but your own." Roscoe considered for a moment, and his face fell. "Oh, hell. Maybe I didn't really think this out too good," he decided. He looked up, dismayed. "Pardon my French. But I didn't really think about much of anything 'cept getting out." "Harm could've told you. Or Lacroix. An ejection seat's not a magic handle; it's a world of hurt. Especially if you don't know what you're doing." "Fine," he said impatiently. "I've learned my lesson. I've learned It's a Wonderful Life. Now send me back." "Back?" "To Earth." "Do I look like my name's Clarence? You already had your second chance, and you said no. You're stuck here, till you work out your issues and make reparations for what you've done by helping others. And I'm stuck here too." She sighed. "I'm going to go see how Harm and Mac are doing. Not that it'll cheer me up." She turned and walked away. Roscoe looked around. "I can't believe this. No matter where I run, I find a prison. And now, here I am again. I don't think much of the way this universe is designed!" He stopped and looked around nervously. Nothing happened. He relaxed a little. "Well, I guess it's still a free country. And the lieutenant _did_ say she liked me. And even if there's no harps, it looks like somebody gave me a very fine instrument here." He picked up the accordion and grinned. "The lieutenant seemed to need some cheering up. Maybe I should go play her a serenade." He walked after her, playing "Anchors Aweigh" into the thick gray mists.